What, give up tolerance? Isn't the hallmark of our enlightened age a greater appreciation for diversity, an increased tolerance for differences? Well, this enlightened age is really a cess pool of moral turpitude in which we are stading up to our necks, and the feces are rising. For this I blame too much tolerance.

To start with, let's have less tolerance of other religions. As a member of the true Church, you know that all non-Catholics are doomed to eternal agony in the pits of sulforous hellfire, and non-practicing Catholics and Catholics who die in a state of sin need to spend eons in purgatory. So if you really care about your nice agnostic cube mate, your nice Jewish pediatrician, your sister who's obviously using birth control and your swell neighbor who worships at a heretical Baptist church, are you going to sit there and let them head for an eternity of torment, or are you going to try to bring them into the true Church? Offer to bring them to Mass (let them know ahead of time that they have to leave at Communion, of course), explain the history of the true Church, offer to babysit their children Sunday morning, whatever it takes.

How about less tolerance of unwed mothers. Back in the days, an unwed mother would drop her baby off at an orphanage. Sure, it was heartbreaking, but a lot of orphans grew up to be productive citizens, and a lot of people became parents who couldn't. Nowadays, unwed motherhood is practically a career option. Drop out of high school, have a few kids and pull in the government checks. So what if your girls grow up to be immoral sluts, and you boys grow up to be misogynist, irresponsible gang members, it's not your problem. Just subtly talk about the nice people who would love to adopt children, and the irreparable spiritual harm done to a child growing up in a single parent household.

Let's have less tolerance of drug users. George Dubya Bush may be a snake-handling, murdering, cowardly moron, but he hit the nail right on the head when he read the speech his handlers gave him on drug users being terrorists. Did you know that in most major cities, you can buy marijuana smoking materials right on Main Street? For a small fee, you can use the license plate number of one of these dope-head customers and get their address from the DMV. It's but a short step to calling the police for strange odors and loud music coming from their house or apartment. The potheads may hate you at first, but after they've cleaned up and licked the evil weed, they will be grateful.

Let's have less tolerance of baby killers. In addition to the picketing of abortionists and the racists supremacists at Planned Parenthood, how about picketing the pharmacies and groceries that sell the Pill, and condoms and sponges.

Let's have less tolerance of homosexual behavior. Sure, perhaps your cross to bear is a perverted sexual inclination towards a member of the same sex. You are a far greater person if you resist that temptation; and with prayer, cold showers and exercise, you will be able to resist it.

Now, many of you are wondering what chance a small, persecuted minority like us Catholics have of influencing America. Well, you have to start somewhere, why not with us. I say we make our stand at the bottom of this pit of moral relativism, and strive for a more moral America from now on!

See you in Church tomorrow!