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Poll
The butt-ugly British car I like best is:
Austin Allegro 5%
Austin Princess 10%
Reliant Bond Bug 2%
Jensen Interceptor 16%
Austin Maxi 5%
Scimitar GTE 13%
Sunbeam Rapier 5%
Bristol Blenheim 10%
Lotus Europa 13%
Reliant Robin 16%

Votes: 37

 British engineering genius and the Homosexualist Socialist conspiracy

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Apr 05, 2002
 Comments:
How sad it is when a great empire crumbles.

In the 1960s the British automobile industry was the envy of the entire world. With thoroughbred marques such as Rolls Royce, Bentley, Aston Martin, MG and Austin Healey, Britain's rivetheads were producing the goods and the world simply could not get enough.

But then, in 1974, something terrible happened...

communism

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Socialism managed to retake the reigns of power in Britian and proceeded to wreck her auto industry from within.

The lacklusture performance of fat music-loving possibly homosexual Nuremburg rally attending Bilderberg group member and yachtsman Edward Heath allowed Harold Wilson a second chance at the job he so clearly botched in the '60s. Shadowy influences at home and from behind the Iron Curtain and currency devaluation notwithstanding, Wilson and his Communist buddies were now in charge, and in typical Communist fashion they wasted no time and immediately set about attempting to destroy Capitalism, and along with it freedom, dignity, respect, family values and religion.

The British Automobile industry was a prime target for their hate.

Wilson decided to steal the British Auto industry from its owners. He didn't use that word, preferring to use the Communist word for theft: Nationalization. That's right, In 1975 Wilson simply issued a diktat saying that the Government owned all the British Auto manufacturers. He lumped them all together in a giant inefficient state-run behemoth known as 'British Leyland'.

The stockholders were given no compensation. It was quite literally highway robbery. Wilson then ensured that Communist doctrine would hold sway throughout the industry by installing his puppet Derek 'Red Robbo' Robinson as the managing director of the stolen corporation.

Wilson's trusted aide Robbo was then tasked with ensuring that the industry was run in a Communist way. Strict demarcation of job tasks was the order of the day. For example, at BL's enormous Longbridge plant Robbo's Communist working practices ensured that fifteen people were required for the simple task of fitting a wheel onto the newly designed Austin Maxi. Three 'Wheel Carriers', two 'Pressure checkers', a 'Torque checker' a 'Bolt setter', four 'Saftey Observers', two 'Bolt turners', one 'Working Practices Compliance officer' and a 'Beverage technician' (whose job was to ensure that there was always a hot cup of tea or 'cuppa' ready for the workers at all times).

But this pathological inefficiency was not enough for the meglomaniac Wilson. He was worried about getting re-elected for another term of office, he was behind in the opinion polls, news of his shady business connections was beginning to surface. He needed a way to unite public opinion behind his insane Communistic ideology and hence behind the Wilson election campaign. It was then that he had his greatest brainwave.

The Reliant Bond Bug.

The crazy 70's design of the Bond Bug seems like a fun car, in the spirit of the decade. However, a closer look reveals that this car was designed in order to promote homosexuality, and thus more inclined to believe in Socialist ideas. Notice the two seater configuration of the vehicle. Where do the children sit ? You guessed it, there are no rear seats, meaning that the car cannot carry children. A clear indicator that the driver and passenger of the car may well be a homosexual couple. Take another look. The car is ORANGE! Clearly no red-blooded heterosexual male would choose this color, but there was no choice. In true Socialist style, the choice of color was not left to the consumer. No, that was left to the apparachtiks at British Leyland, hence orange was the color, take it or leave it, like it or lump it.

Take yet another look. This car only has three wheels. Again we can see the homosexual agenda of the Communist-run car industry at work. Clearly the whole concept of a three wheeled vehicle is perverse. By making the pervese seem acceptable, Leylands automobile designers set the agenda for their homosexualist and Communist brainwashing of the British public.

But it didn't stop there! The Communist car designers in power at British Leyland could not bear for the success of an individual to be reflected in his exquisite taste in vehicular transportation, so they made it impossible for the consumer to do so. By the simple technique of designing terrible ugly cars that nobody (not even a Communist) could love.

Cast your eyes over these motorised mingers:

  • The Austin Princess/Ambassador
  • The Austin Maxi
  • The Morris Marina
  • The Triumph TR7
  • The Jensen Interceptor
  • The Austin Allegro - this one had a 'square' steering wheel believe it or not!
  • The Scimitar GTE
  • The Rover SD1
  • The Lotus Elite
  • The Lotus Europa

    Faced with driving these ugly lumps of metal, suddenly homosexuality seemed somehow more 'normal' to the people of the UK. Wilson's heinous plan appeared to be working.

    The homosexualist movement gathered more and more powers. The people became more and more Communisticly inclined, forming 'Trade Unions' and going on strike almost every day of the year, until a fateful day in 1979 when a certain Mrs Thatcher stepped in and stopped the rot.

    She had her work cut out for her, but she took to the task with brutal efficiency. She turned back the tide of Socialism, but to this very day, the homosexual impulses awakened by the lurid orange three-wheeler still persist. Perhaps British men will always be just that little bit gay thanks to this cheeky fibreglass 70's icon. Who knows ?

    One thing is for certain - the British car industry never managed to recover from Harold Wilson's meddling.


  • The part I find most distressing... (none / 0) (#7)
    by because it isnt on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 09:55:50 AM PST
    is that good old British Leyland is now owned by the Germans.
    adequacy.org -- because it isn't

    splitted not german (2.00 / 1) (#66)
    by Anonymous Reader on Wed Apr 10th, 2002 at 06:26:26 AM PST
    the website http://www.british-leyland.de was made by german enthusiasts of the "mini-metro-ig remscheid", and is a tribute to a decade of independent, british engineering. (ok, some cars had realy bad quality but they looked nice)
    the brands triumph, riley, austin healey, and so on now belong to BMW like the MINI. MG-Rover is a independent company.
    the leyland-name is still used by leyland-daf (trucks).



     
    Did you know... (5.00 / 1) (#8)
    by JoePain on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 11:09:07 AM PST
    That Europe has a standard 30 HOUR work week. They get paid the same ammount we (I don't consider non-Americans 'we') do and work 3/4's as hard. WTF.

    This sends up a red flag in my opinion (nice pun eh?)

    I predict the hammer and sickle will be flying in a its happy new home within 10 years.

    Hopefully Canadia will not follow suit.




    Hammer & sickle (none / 0) (#42)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 12:56:51 PM PST
    The hammer and the sickle already are flying in a happy new home: your mind. You have hallucinations. I'd like very much to know where do we have that standard 30 hours week, when France is struggling without success to go from a 39 hours week to a 35 hours week, and the other countries in Europe not even trying (they have 39 to 45).


     
    Another fine article from dmg (none / 0) (#9)
    by walwyn on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 11:10:41 AM PST
    Strict demarcation of job tasks was the order of the day. For example, at BL's enormous Longbridge plant Robbo's Communist working practices ensured that fifteen people were required for the simple task of fitting a wheel onto the newly designed Austin Maxi. Three 'Wheel Carriers', two 'Pressure checkers', a 'Torque checker' a 'Bolt setter', four 'Saftey Observers', two 'Bolt turners', one 'Working Practices Compliance officer' and a 'Beverage technician'

    I knew Robbo's controller. The person that knew what backroom deals were made, when and by whom. A major player in the unionisation of British industry from the 1950's to 1990's.

    Strict demarkation was brought in by management in the 1950's. If a person was injured at work doing something that was not strictly part of their job, then they refused any compensation. Lets say you were employed as a 'Beverage technician' and helped out the 'Wheel Carriers', and whilst carrying wheels you dropped one and crushed your foot , then no compensation for you my boy 'cos you shouldn't have been doing it.

    Management brought in the rules and the grades for their own short-sighted ends.


     
    I Object (none / 0) (#10)
    by doofus on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 11:27:40 AM PST
    The Jensen Interceptor is a gorgeous piece of automotive engineering and design.

    As is anything with the name "Lotus" on it.


    It's got to be (none / 0) (#15)
    by walwyn on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 01:07:46 PM PST
    One of these. Long delivery time though used to be two years sigh.

    Hitched a nice ride up the A423 from Oxford one night in an Interceptor. The new one looks nice.


     
    Lotus Esprit (none / 0) (#69)
    by Anonymous Reader on Wed Apr 10th, 2002 at 11:11:26 AM PST
    What is wrong with 0-60 in < 4.5 secs and 165mph (4.3 & 175 with V8 version) of the beautiful Lotus Esprit ? Apart from the fact you can't see police cars out the back window, as I found out when caught at 121.9 mph!


     
    Mingers? Not all (none / 0) (#11)
    by piloti on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 11:35:22 AM PST
    Jensen Interceptor is a cool motor. I was thinking of getting one myself but the thought of 8 mpg sort of put me off.

    Rover SD1 is a nice looking motor (rip off of the Daytona), fairly badly built but has a great V8 engine.




     
    It's embarrassing... (none / 0) (#12)
    by budlite on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 12:19:08 PM PST
    ...living in Leyland, having read that story...


    although... (none / 0) (#13)
    by budlite on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 12:25:34 PM PST
    ...having actually looked at some of the pictures, I'm a little less embarrassed. At least the Lotus Europa looked fairly nice.


     
    Living in Leyland (none / 0) (#21)
    by walwyn on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 01:57:43 PM PST
    It is pretty embarassing living in Leyland full stop.


    Well fancy that (none / 0) (#22)
    by budlite on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 02:11:09 PM PST
    I never knew Leyland had an Accordian club.

    On the plus side though, it's fairly quiet where I am (apart from the motorway and railway), so I don't usually have to put up with crowds of drunken idiots vomiting all over the front garden on a Friday night.


    Look closer... (none / 0) (#24)
    by walwyn on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 02:29:31 PM PST
    ...at the page linked to.

    I have nothing against the accordian. An old drinking mate plays one.


     
    Homophobe = closet homosexual? (5.00 / 1) (#14)
    by akepa on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 12:38:54 PM PST
    Yes, socialism sucks and perhaps did play some part in the deterioration of the British auto industry. But what does this have to do with homosexuality? Are there gay socialists? Undoubtedly. There are also straight socialists and gay capitalists.

    As a straight married man confident in my own sexual identity, I have always been mystified by the vehemence some people have for gays. Why do such people care about others' sex lives? If you think homosexuality is a sin "because the Bible says so", then it's the gays who are going to hell and not you, so again why should you care?

    My suspicion is that homophobes are closet homosexuals or bisexuals who are too ashamed and/or embarrassed to admit their propensity towards the same sex. Consequently they try to "prove" that they're straight by verbally and/or physically attacking gays at every opportunity, and ranting about all kinds of ridiculous paranoid conspiracies involving homosexuals trying to destroy civilization as we know it.

    I find the thought of making love to a man to be repugnant. I also find the thought of eating beets repugnant. Yet I do not discriminate against beet eaters, beet farmers or the stores that sell beets, and I do not come up with paranoid conspiracies involving beets and world domination. If some people like to eat beets, then let them do so, it's a free country.


    What if beets were bad for you, but tasted good? (5.00 / 1) (#16)
    by Adam Rightmann on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 01:32:09 PM PST
    And so, against your better judgement, you tried a small amount of beet, and decided you liked it? And then tried more and more, despite feeling guilty about all the known problems with beets, and still liked it. And then, because your beet farmer can't give you enough beets, you try to convince young men to grow beets. Before you know it, many of the young men in your town are growing beets, giving beets to teenage boys, until the whole town drops dead from beet-inducing diseases. Really, it's that simple.


    A. Rightmann

    Unhealthy food that tastes good include (5.00 / 2) (#25)
    by akepa on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 03:36:44 PM PST
    Cheeseburgers
    Doughnuts
    Ice cream
    Fried anything

    Just to name a few. Are you suggesting we treat all eaters of the above items the same way you would like to treat homosexuals? Should McDonalds and Krispy Kreme Donuts be shut down?

    Your argument could just as well be applied to heterosexuals: some guy has sex with a woman, likes it, wants more and more, he just can't get enough, so he convinces more and more girls to have sex with him, even underage girls, and he raves about it so much that all the other males want to get into the action too, and before you know it everyone in the whole town is infected with herpes, AIDS, crabs, and syphilis. I guess by your logic we should just ban all sex, hetero and homo. Perhaps castrate everyone at birth and use cloning to reproduce?

    What you seem to be suggesting is that many people would like homosexuality if they tried it. Frankly, I doubt it - but I think that virulent homophobes would like it if they tried it, which is what they're afraid of.



     
    heh (none / 0) (#30)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sat Apr 6th, 2002 at 03:52:16 PM PST
    I think that's the dumbest thing I've ever read. Even including on Slashdot.


     
    Behold the Power of Beets (none / 0) (#33)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sat Apr 6th, 2002 at 07:31:04 PM PST
    Sadly, the communist homosexuals who object to this article will no doubt miss that brilliant allegory go winging right over their heads.


     
    Paranoia? (none / 0) (#17)
    by DG on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 01:33:36 PM PST
    seems to me that you dig too deeply into the meaning of a two seat car, parhaps they have other reasons becides homosexuality maybe for instance a married couple? lots of married couples drive small cars till they have children,then get a minivan or something like that. so please stop jumping to conclusions based on a rather off-kilter view of the world. the color? well not like they have very good colors for american cars,maybe they just couldn't come up with a good color
    2002, DG. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

    Colour (5.00 / 1) (#20)
    by walwyn on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 01:47:49 PM PST
    well not like they have very good colors for american cars


     
    Mismanagement (5.00 / 1) (#18)
    by walwyn on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 01:37:01 PM PST
    Wilson decided to steal the British Auto industry from its owners.

    The British car industry, like most British industry, always suffered for lack of investment. The Standard Motor Company, for example, went bankrupt many times during its history.

    Leyland was a disaster due to the inter-company bickering that went on at board level. Each faction spent more time in-fighting than running the business and developing new models.




    It doesn't justify stealing. (none / 0) (#28)
    by dmg on Sat Apr 6th, 2002 at 09:47:49 AM PST
    The British car industry, like most British industry, always suffered for lack of investment. The Standard Motor Company, for example, went bankrupt many times during its history.

    And how exactly does this justify theft ? Please explain.

    time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
    -- MC Hawking

    1,500 million. (5.00 / 1) (#29)
    by walwyn on Sat Apr 6th, 2002 at 10:37:47 AM PST
    Leyland went bust again in 1975 with losses of 123 million and went running to the government for a 1.5 billion reinvestment handout. As a result their creditors got paid, the shareholders got 60% over the market value of their shares, and the manufacturing sector in the West Midlands survived.

    Now who was robbed? Come on dmg you can do better than this.


    Who was robbed ? (none / 0) (#36)
    by dmg on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 06:49:57 AM PST
    The long suffering British taxpayer of course.

    And why should shareholders be bailed out by the taxpayer ? The whole point of stock ownership is that it is a means of transferring risk.

    Why should an inefficient industry be propped up by the taxpayer ? It should be put out of its misery quickly, so that something else can take its place.

    If the money wasted on Leyland had been spent on (for example) developing Britains microelectronics and software industries, Britain would be a global player in these areas instead of an also-ran.

    time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
    -- MC Hawking

    There you go. (5.00 / 1) (#37)
    by walwyn on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 07:56:37 AM PST
    The long suffering British taxpayer of course.

    I knew you would get there eventually despite the earlier:
    Wilson decided to steal the British Auto industry from its owners.

    And why should shareholders be bailed out by the taxpayer ? The whole point of stock ownership is that it is a means of transferring risk.

    They shouldn't have been. Especially as they had already extracted 95% of the companies net profits from 1968-1975 failing to reinvest in the company.

    You would have thought that we had learnt the lesson, but unfortunately the cringing creep has weasled away.

    Why should an inefficient industry be propped up by the taxpayer ? It should be put out of its misery quickly, so that something else can take its place.

    The motor industry was the main player in the countries manufacturing base. Shutting down the West Midland manufacturing base over night would have been a political disaster. The delay allowed manufacturing to become less dependent on the motor industry as new industries developed.

    developing Britains microelectronics and software industries, Britain would be a global player in these areas instead of an also-ran.

    Oh we do very well thank you. The US car industry runs on our software. It wouldn't surprise me to find that other US industries follow suite in the coming years.


     
    Typical of the working classes (none / 0) (#19)
    by ICS Dempsey KBE on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 01:44:22 PM PST
    This is exactly the sort of thing one should expect from allowing the bourgeoisie a place in government. Working people have no special training in statecraft and continually favor their own economic interests above the nation as a whole. This is the root of the entire struggle between the two classes of commoners. As I have stated on this site before, the only solution is to leave the policy-making to those with the genetic heritage and lifetime training adequate for the task: the nobility.


    The Problem with that is.. (none / 0) (#23)
    by DG on Fri Apr 5th, 2002 at 02:16:28 PM PST
    "The Nobility" for the most part don't give a shit about anyone but themselves.. we have much proof of that, i could give you many examples of that, plus many people couldn't go back to that, it would be a step back rather than a step forward
    2002, DG. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

    does money make you noble? (none / 0) (#31)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sat Apr 6th, 2002 at 06:44:18 PM PST
    Why would any one person need more than $1 million dollars?


    For... (none / 0) (#32)
    by The Mad Scientist on Sat Apr 6th, 2002 at 07:00:01 PM PST
    ...funding projects?

    Running a nonprofit organization (oh how unamerican!) in some cases costs a lot.


    funny thing (none / 0) (#34)
    by nathan on Sat Apr 6th, 2002 at 07:53:30 PM PST
    George Soros lives in America, and (according to my Hungarian friends) faces racist treatment in elements of the Hungarian press due to being a Jew. But, somehow, despite the wretchedness of America, he manages to organize the giving of about half a billion USD per year.

    Nathan
    --
    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

    Giving? (none / 0) (#38)
    by tkatchev on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 10:08:05 AM PST
    GIVING?

    Lord God, do not make me laugh. I wish I could live as miserably as that, as the Jewish proveb goes.

    I respect Soros for his business skills, even though he is an amoral monster and a misanthrope; trying to whitewash him into some sort of "master of good deeds" betrays your massive ignorance in this matter.


    --
    Peace and much love...




    ok, so educate me. n/t (none / 0) (#39)
    by nathan on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 11:51:06 AM PST

    --
    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

    Soros... (5.00 / 1) (#41)
    by tkatchev on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 12:50:16 PM PST
    ...is a cunning businessman who uses manipulation of national governments to destabilize stock markets and make big, big bucks. He's the type of person who can single-handedly crash the Mexican economy just to turn a profit on stock speculation. (Example, another one.)

    The numerous "Soros Funds" all over the world are not exactly philanthropic -- Soros uses them as an independent political force to hedge his dangerous stock speculations. If you're playing against, for example, the Mongolian market, an independent political force you wholly control comes in very handy.

    Basically, Soros is the embodiment of the evil globalist conspiracy in the flesh, if you believe in that sort of thing.


    --
    Peace and much love...




    Is Soros Jewish, by any chance? (none / 0) (#60)
    by because it isnt on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 02:28:17 AM PST
    That would just fit so well with your new-found practise of anti-semitism.
    adequacy.org -- because it isn't

     
    Money is not the essence of nobility (none / 0) (#53)
    by ICS Dempsey KBE on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 12:53:26 PM PST
    In fact, in this age, many nobles live destitute, unable to garner any sort of appreciable income from their lands due to the open tax rebellion common amongst the modern peasantry. Indeed, it is precisely those nobles who have most kept to the essential character of nobility that now live in the most difficult situations.

    The state, bound to universal suffrage and the market that drives it, no longer sees value in a class trained from birth in proper government and respect for its populace. Individualized market-based economic systems have no means to deal with the products of nobility, which benefit all society, rather than only those individuals who "purchase" our products. Such products include the artistic patronage system, a gentler, more polite society, social order and stability, national unity, a well-funded Church, and a more loyal, effective armed forces. A noble is a person from a good line of gentle folk with inherited lands who places these societal values ahead of his own well-being. A noble who makes these his primary affairs today likely has little extra money to spend on himself.


     
    to buy lots of cool/non-homosexual cars (none / 0) (#59)
    by Anonymous Reader on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 10:08:24 PM PST
    Ferrari's and Lamborghini's are around $250k a piece, if you want more than 4 or 5 in the course of a year in addition to a nice house in Newport Beach, CA, you'd need well over $1 million.


     
    Not much nobility left (none / 0) (#51)
    by Anonymous Reader on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 12:35:40 PM PST
    Most of the nobility has intermingled with the common folk to the point of extinction, so we must find some more nobility. I say that we do a first called, first served system. I call dukedom of NYC and I'll take a knighthood too, just for kicks.


    A good jest (none / 0) (#54)
    by ICS Dempsey KBE on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 01:13:31 PM PST
    Your wit is outstanding my dear Mr. Reader! Even more outstanding is that you have also brought an important question to the fore: commoner/nobility intermingling. My favored solution is the establishment of a well-funded Royal geneological study to determine the rightful heirs to the abandoned lands and titles. However, I am certainly open to discussion on this issue.

    For those lands without historical entailment, such as the United States of America, perhaps it is time for the appointment of new nobility. The Queen could identify those honorable individuals with exemplary service to their respective communities and install them on a trial basis with the possibility of receiving permanency after several generations. I have my doubts, however, whether appropriate individuals could be found in a shopkeeper's empire such as the USA. It may be necessary to simply grant those lands to extant nobility.


    a noble is... (none / 0) (#61)
    by Mr Somebody on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 04:54:06 AM PST
    just the decendant of a warlord! What is so noble about that? If you are real nobility, & not just a lying cock, or a life peer, then you only are so because your great great (etc) grandfather won a big battle and stole some land! In which case, I'll fight you for it, you parasite!
    And to suggest that only nobility have the aptitiude for 'statecraft' beggars belief!
    In fact, the phrase 'statecraft' sounds like a complete oxymoron to me.


     
    What about the Japs? (none / 0) (#26)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sat Apr 6th, 2002 at 01:42:44 AM PST
    Hey man Jap cars are pretty faggy too. just look at their names: "Toyota": that sounds pretty faggy to me. "Nissan" is pretty damn gay too, and dont get me started about "Lexus" which is just NAMBLA spelled backwards

    Plus Jap cars themselves are just plain gay. They have those faggy little mini-trucks that are useless for ripping out stumps or towing a boat. the only thing you can haul in one of those little mini-trucks is some size queen's dildo collection.

    Used to be cars were big and had v-8 hemis in them, You could get under the hood and fix them up yourself, add a supercharger, headers, new ignition, whatever. Nowdays all these faggy jap cars have fuel injectors and catalytic converters and computer chips in them so to make them go faster you have to install a new computer chip like some faggot who doesn't want to get his hands dirty,

    To sum up, jap cars are for fags so unless your a man who loves the taste of cock buy a Mustang or Dodge Pickup.


    My! (none / 0) (#27)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sat Apr 6th, 2002 at 03:25:51 AM PST
    A car hacker!


     
    What about the chips? (none / 0) (#35)
    by The Mad Scientist on Sat Apr 6th, 2002 at 08:15:56 PM PST
    Nowdays all these faggy jap cars have fuel injectors and catalytic converters and computer chips in them so to make them go faster you have to install a new computer chip like some faggot who doesn't want to get his hands dirty.

    What's wrong about the chips? Or are you bitter because you can't learn electronics, and are trying to mask your incompetence with insults? Face it, technology is developing, and you either keep the pace or drop off. If you don't like it, design your own purely mechanical engine control system; we will see how good and reliable it will be in comparison with a microcontroller. I already know to which technology I will place my bets[1].

    [1] Presuming we aren't requiring EMP-hardened engine. Though in that case I'd still try to stick with electronics, just thoroughly shielding all the critical systems, and use silicon-on-sapphire chips instead of classical thick silicon ones.


     
    Go (none / 0) (#44)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 01:25:45 PM PST
    Go under the hood and fix yourself, you antiquated polluting biological mechanism.


     
    IDEA!!! (none / 0) (#47)
    by gohomeandshoveit on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 05:55:01 PM PST
    Ok, I've got it. Japanese cars didn't come out until China was Communist, so obviously the Japanese cars were always run by Socialists, since Japan is close to Red China. Hence the faggy names. So, the Socialists that failed in the '70s in Britain moved to China to influence faggy Jap cars...wait...

    THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!!

    I think that most conspiracy theorists are just messed-up paranoid-schizophrenics who should be locked up in a the place with padded walls. Also, based on the logic presented by Akepa in a previous response, this "Anonymous Reader" is probably a closet homo/bi/tri/quad/quint/sex/septisexual (that's one or all of seven different things: men, women, plants, animals, inanimate objects, inanimate plants, and inanimate animals), who was gang-raped by some Asian person who he thought was Japanese when he was five. (Not to dis Akepa's comments or anything, I think that's pretty sound logic about gay-bashers)

    In conclusion, I think we should round up the gays, gay-bashers, conspiracy theorists, and
    Socialists, and send them to Japan to make faggy cars. How's that for an idea?


    Didn't I see you... (none / 0) (#48)
    by derek3000 on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 06:04:18 AM PST
    handing out "Free Mumia" pamphlets at the arcade in the mall?


    ----------------
    "Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

    hey... (none / 0) (#72)
    by gohomeandshoveit on Wed Apr 10th, 2002 at 06:59:35 PM PST
    How'd you know that was me? I think it's some sort of conspiracy. Maybe the faggy Japs and the Nicaraguan Contras made a secret alliance....



     
    Ford was a nazi (none / 0) (#52)
    by Anonymous Reader on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 12:38:16 PM PST
    So, either your a gay fag or a Nazi? thats a hard choice there sonny.


     
    queer cars? (none / 0) (#40)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 12:13:11 PM PST
    Notice the two seater configuration of the vehicle. Where do the children sit ? You guessed it, there are no rear seats, meaning that the car cannot carry children. A clear indicator that the driver and passenger of the car may well be a homosexual couple

    WTF?! so this article is saying that any car with a 2 seater configuration is a car promoting homosexuality. That is about the stupidest thing i have ever heard, all the sportscars of north america must be also gay then, damn you Ford! trying to push your queer cars on us!


    And don't forget (none / 0) (#43)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 01:15:58 PM PST
    F1, Indy, and the likes are promoting masturbation. Now, I wonder if a bus is not promoting orgies?


     
    All you people are idiots (none / 0) (#45)
    by Narcissus on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 02:20:30 PM PST
    number one I do agree that British cars are all gay ... but so are the majority of the cars in the world

    the whole industry should take pointers from general motors:
    1) Don't make little fag cars that only seat 2 homos in the front seat and no manual transmission so they dont poke themselves in the chest while they pleasure their boyfriend driving - make Corvette Z06s and C5s too burn them little pussy-mobiles off the road while holding 4 people
    2) Do i really have to point out the transmission problems of a Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater and the shitty workmanship of Fast Only Rolling Downhill




    --------------------------------
    Ok, who picked the flower???

     
    crazies (5.00 / 1) (#46)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 05:44:57 PM PST
    I didnt' think Americans were still so damn paranoid about Communism. For fuck's sake, calm down and at least learn how to spell Canada


    Canadia. (none / 0) (#68)
    by JoePain on Wed Apr 10th, 2002 at 10:34:50 AM PST
    I Happen to live less than 100 miles from Canadia. I like the Canadians, they are all very polite people. They LIKE it when you call there country Canadia. Ask one.


     
    if the US car industry is so great, (5.00 / 1) (#49)
    by Mr Somebody on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 07:14:15 AM PST
    how come you've only got 2 & a half manufacturing companies left?
    AND, if the US is so proudly heterosexual, how come all their porn films are about butfucking?
    eh? eh?
    And if DMG is so erudite & adequate, how come all he can come up with is the odd lame Brit bashing piece, full of the same old petty prejudices?
    I think we should be told...


     
    Don't forget about the Comet (none / 0) (#50)
    by KingAzzy on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 12:11:10 PM PST
    During this period, the beautiful and bad ass Comet aircraft was all but killed as well. Its still around (in its new "Nimrod" class) as a military jet but the Brits let Boeing squash em as a commercial jet..

    Pity too cause its FAST and SEXY



    yes butt about the Comet... (none / 0) (#55)
    by Anonymous Reader on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 02:38:29 PM PST
    The comet was brilliant design, ahead of its time, better then Boeing but isnt it obvious wy the Comet never made it, because it represents homosexuals!
    Long sleek and silver, it looks just like a dildo with wings! No engines slung under the wings, which of course is obvious referance to the lack of balls gay men must have. And the clinching proof of course if the fact that is it now only found in the Air Force, and we all know the military is full of gay people who were obviously unable to resist its gayness.

    Oh, also the recent power of the Black movement can be directly attributed too the introduction of the F-117 Stealth Fighter and the B-2 Stealth bomber, who's only reason to exsist is to remind people constantly that black is better, oh and there is a little yellow chocolate wrapper that is sitting on my desk and is insidiously trying to convert me to become Chinese.

    And if 2 seater cars indicate homosexual tendancies, what do motobikes represent! Those manufacturers of single seat vehicles are trying to bring down civilisation, they are advocating solo pleasure is the way to go, masturbate until you go blind. Two seat bikes are obviously for mutual masturbaters! My god this is terrible, if we are not careful everyone will own one, no one will procreate, the the world will end as we know it!!!

    My God, where will it all end!! Arrrrgh.

    <Please note that this authour is "taking the piss" out of the article, and more importantly is taking the serious piss out of the author, who he believes owns a motorbike>


    Oooh! (none / 0) (#56)
    by walwyn on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 03:20:49 PM PST
    Please note that this authour is "taking the piss" out of the article, and more importantly is taking the serious piss out of the author, who he believes owns a motorbike

    We have a geek.


    Uh (none / 0) (#57)
    by tkatchev on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 04:46:29 PM PST
    disgusting, no?


    --
    Peace and much love...




     
    Thanks (none / 0) (#58)
    by Anonymous Reader on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 10:07:23 PM PST
    "We have a geek"

    Why thank you.


    feel proud! (none / 0) (#62)
    by nathan on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 07:31:56 AM PST
    You have chosen concentration rather than conformity, and pursued skill (especially technical skill) and imagination, rather than mainstream social acceptance. I'll bet you have a strong case of neophilia and are adept with computers. You probably didn't go to your high-school prom, and would be offended by the suggestion that you had wanted to.

    Nathan
    --
    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

    If any of the above is true (none / 0) (#63)
    by Anonymous Reader on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 09:46:02 AM PST
    adequacy is not for you. Please crawl back to Solipsistic Socialists or Communist Cheapskates where your sort are welcomed with open arms.

    Adequacy is not a 'geek' or 'nerd' friendly site. We are not impressed with you jumped-up janitors with your MCSEs and Red Hats. Now go away. Grownups are trying to have intelligent conversations here, the last thing we need is a whole load of autistic egocentric wankers to spoil it.


    If the above is true (none / 0) (#64)
    by Anonymous Reader on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 02:32:03 PM PST
    and apparent "Grown-ups" are trying to have a intelligent conversation about how british 2 seat cars are trying to subvert people to become gay then I am embaressed to be included in this supposed grown-up crowd.

    Replace "grown-ups" with "paranoids" and I can accept that.

    And by disagreeing with you or by stating my own opinion (as the original author did), that makes me a Solipsistic Socialist or Communist Cheapskate does it? Interesting. When someone uses sarcasm or humour in a post that means he/she is a nerd? Now who is sterotyping!

    Do you honestly believe that the Bond Bug was promoting homosexualism? That the goverment buggered up the car industry is indisputable, but 2 seats + orange = homosexuals and socialist ideas, I mean really! ;-)


    You should be. (none / 0) (#67)
    by dmg on Wed Apr 10th, 2002 at 08:35:48 AM PST
    I am embaressed to be included in this supposed grown-up crowd.

    With spelling as atrocious as yours, you should be "embaressed".

    time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
    -- MC Hawking

    peraps eye shoold. (none / 0) (#71)
    by Anonymous Reader on Wed Apr 10th, 2002 at 01:41:40 PM PST
    eye kan spel reel wel thank yoo.


     
    being 'grownup' is overated (none / 0) (#65)
    by Mr Somebody on Wed Apr 10th, 2002 at 04:52:08 AM PST
    whenever the rabid howling about socialism, homosexuality & geeks starts, I have to chuckle. I think Michael Moore is right! You really are nowt but a buch of stupid white men, chasing the bogeyman.
    Being 'grownup' for you guys is the last refuge in a world you all feel so uneasy with. Lighten up fellas! Don't you remember youthfull exuberance? No, because you're all too worried about how your portfolios are doing.
    Comiserations to all Adequacy gimps that invested heavily in the house of cards that is Enron!


    Well said! (none / 0) (#73)
    by Anonymous Reader on Wed Apr 10th, 2002 at 08:16:23 PM PST
    if there are any "adults" that post regularly to this site that are above the ages of about 17-20 I'd be extremely surprised. They're all trying *so* hard to sound like their parents it's hilarious.

    C'mon kids, let's have some more uninformed historical revisionism - I could use a laugh!

    As an aside I notice the warning that "Trolling is *not* tolerated here" in the comments - evidently it's the exclusive privilege of the article authors...


     
    Commies didn't kill the British Car (none / 0) (#74)
    by gordonjcp on Fri Apr 12th, 2002 at 10:15:18 AM PST
    Lucas Electrics did.


    Lucas Arts != Commies? (none / 0) (#75)
    by JoePain on Fri Apr 12th, 2002 at 01:06:25 PM PST
    You say potato, i say.. (this doesn't have the same effect when posting)


    Lucas Electrics != Lucas Arts... (none / 0) (#77)
    by gordonjcp on Mon Apr 15th, 2002 at 11:48:52 AM PST
    Lucas Electrics made all the electrickery in British cars. Now, most people would agree that a car needs to be able to operate in wet weather, and in the dark, right? You could pretty much guarantee that the whole bloody lot would pack in, the first time you *really* needed to get somewhere and it was dark and wet...


     
    This site and it's commentators are hilarious (none / 0) (#76)
    by Anonymous Reader on Mon Apr 15th, 2002 at 08:40:11 AM PST
    This is the only thing I've read on this site, and if everything else is this funny then I'll be coming back. The comments are darn funny too. If, on the other hand, this is supposed to be serious stuff, then I don't think I'll be visiting too often.

    The American fear of communism is much like the homophobic's fear of homosexuals - they are worried that if they try it they might like it. My friends and I often ponder over the fact that Americans would probably make the best communists... go on - give it a go!! Wouldn't it be great if you didn't have to own your own lawnmower? I can't think of anything worse than having to own a device to cut grass.


    Read the first word of the article. (none / 0) (#78)
    by tkatchev on Mon Apr 15th, 2002 at 09:59:10 PM PST
    I assume you are capable of reading, no? See, it says "British". Good, now you are making progress.


    --
    Peace and much love...




    I was commenting... (none / 0) (#79)
    by Anonymous Reader on Tue Apr 16th, 2002 at 06:01:27 AM PST
    on the Americanness of the comments. Duh-hooby. This article is promoting intelligent and reasoned debate... the debate has extended it's fingers into many pies, pies which must now either be eaten, or set aside in a suitable storage place. These pies could grow, but they could also shrink. That's the beauty of debate.


    As a recovering provinconalistarian, (none / 0) (#81)
    by JoePain on Wed Apr 17th, 2002 at 10:22:28 AM PST
    I am not familiar with the phrase Duh-Hooby. Before my provinionalistismness was pointed out to me I would have ignored it, and possibly drawn an incorrect conclusion of its meaning. Please explain "Duh-Hooby." Is this foreign jargon or slang that I have not been exposed to? If so please let me know which country this comes from as I am trying to become a better person.

    Thank you.


     
    When you've become a land owner (none / 0) (#80)
    by Adam Rightmann on Tue Apr 16th, 2002 at 08:32:55 AM PST
    by the grace of God and hard work, you desire to keep it nice. A lawn mower is one way of doing it.


    A. Rightmann

     
    Reality Check (none / 0) (#82)
    by Anonymous Reader on Thu Apr 18th, 2002 at 02:38:13 AM PST
    This has to be the most bizzare article I've read in days. What exactly homosexuality has to do with political affiliation I really don't know. I assumed it was a joke but the links in the article made me wonder otherwise.
    Please tell me this is a joke.


     

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