[editor's note, by jsm] -- in the interests of honesty, I would like to point out that there was no very great personal risk to ourselves; we just hooked up via a left-wing bulletin board recommended by perdida. I would like to reiterate that the interview below is absolutely genuine, however.
we arranged to chat with the reclusive Taleban Warlord, Mohhamed Abu Khazalk Al Saur Ibn Massoud on a secret Afghan IRC server (Running OpenBSD and Apache, and maintained by the International Islamic Front for the Jihad Against Jews and Crusaders) in order to put some of your important questions to him.
What follows is an edited transcript of that IRC session.
In this session, Mr Massoud has used his IRC "handle" of kuffrkilla666.
It is worth noting that Mr Massoud follows a brand of Islam which is very austere in its outlook. In the interest of fairness, I should point out that there exist many other versions of Islam, such as Sunni, Shia, Sufi, Ahmadi, Yihewani, Kharijism, Nation of Islam etc, which do not involve such a hardcore ascetic approach, and as such may be more suitable for some of us lily-livered weak-willed Western infidels. When considering the events of September 11th 2001, its worth remembering that not all Muslims are bomb-crazy bloodletting "fundamentalist" lunatics with a romantic view of jihad financed by Saudi Arabia. Just a small minority of them. Mr Massoud is one such person. We reprint this transcript in the hope that it may shed some light on the obscure religious extremism that seems to be sweeping the world.
<dmg> Hello, Mr Massoud
<dmg> First I'd like to thank you for agreeing to this interview. Your opinion of western media is well known!
<kuffrkilla666> Yeah I am hoping to clear up some of the misconceptions about the muwahhidun
<kuffrkilla666> and counteract lies spred by zionist media in the west and bring some truth to the americans which their governments does not want them to know about
<dmg> Thank you again. Adequacy.org is different to many western media because it is not run for profit. We can afford to take an unbiased view what do you guys in Afghanistan think of the coverage you have been getting in the western media ?
<kuffrkilla666> well you know we dont get much time to indulge in wasteful pursuits like reading the western media its all lies anyway so what would be the point? our taleban rulers have banned Internet for all except where it is needed to promote our agenda this is
<kuffrkilla666> because the intnernet is an invention of shiatan and a corrupting influence
<dmg> OK, I have a couple of questions from our readers here in the USA and Europe, would you mind answering them ?
<kuffrkilla666> sure provided they are respectful of our beliefs and do not trivialise Islam in any way. go ahead shoot.
<dmg> this first one is from Dave (a Christian) in Chicago. He says he has a beard, due to the cold winters over there. He has some Muslim co-workers and wants to know is his beard likely to be offensive to them in any way ?
<kuffrkilla666> thats pretty easy to answer, as an unbeliever, albeit a follower of the religion of the book daves beard is of supreme indifference to many Muslims. were dave to revert to his true religion of Islam however then I would have to say that according to consensus of Muslim opinion
<kuffrkilla666> to cut the beard is haraam and to cut the beard if it is less than one fist is also forbidden
<dmg> well that's pretty clear then. dave - carry on as you were, until you convert! The next question comes from Barry in Scotland he says he occasionally views adult movies and wants to know if this will cause offense to his muslim coworkers should they find out.
<kuffrkilla666> Thats another easy one you didn't say if barry is Muslim lets assume he is not. Then as an infidel he is able to do whatever he likes - He will be judged when the time comes. In the meantime should he revert
<kuffrkilla666> to his natural religion then he must know that pornography of any kind is haraam and punishment would be severe.
<kuffrkilla666> recently i was watching VMusic channel in the night arount 12-30am the programme called Banned at Bed time it was full of Sex scenes but no body take any objection now our ministry for the promotion of virtue and prevention of vice have banned this porn tv so we are safe from the filth and obscenities of the kaffur and the infidels of hollywood
<dmg> again thanks for a very clear answer. The next question comes from Carla in San Jose. Carla is a project manager at a large IT consultancy and she asked us what to do about a perceived lack of respect she gets from two of her Muslim software developers.
<kuffrkilla666> I have to say she should remain in her home and should not go out without any extreme need because mischief is feared in her going out if she have to go out in extreme necessity
<kuffrkilla666> then she should go with a Mahram and covered in Burqa or large overlay so that her body including her cloths should not be visible and after doing whatever it was needed she should come back at once.
<dmg> well carla - looks like you need to stay at home! Mr Massoud, that answer might seem a bit extreme to some of our readers and dare I say it sexist. What would you say to that ?
<kuffrkilla666> well its often a criticism levelled at Islam but we consider that men and women are different not that one is better than the other just different
<dmg> Ok I guess we have to learn to respect that in the west. The next question is from Malik in Icatha he has heard about the Taliban's use of open source software and wonders if you could tell him which distro(s) you are using and more importantly what kind of crypto software ?
<kuffrkilla666> ill need to ask our computer guy. brb.
<kuffrkilla666> He said we are running on openbsd 2.7 and apache but he cannot tell me about cryptography for security reasons.
<dmg> Well thanks for the information. John from Wales would like to know what you think of the Nation of Islam. Is it official Islamic doctrine that white people are devils grafted from dogs and black people will be rescued by spaceships from Ethiopia?
<kuffrkilla666>Well farrakhans a prophet and i think yuo ought to listen to what he can say to you. its probably fair to say that those arent exactly uncontroverisal doctrines but there is an element of truth to his overall worldview.
<kuffrkilla666>you probably shoulnt be thinking of these as literal spaceships and grafted devils but in a more allegorical sense. Id like to go into it in more detail but i'd need to quote specific suras and this haraam keyboard can't type arabic lol.
<dmg> I guess that's fair enough. One of our readers darkelf is a practicing wiccan. She wants to know what is the Islamic view of paganism - does Islam have anything like the 'rule of three' ?
<kuffrkilla666> well as you know Islam is one of the most tolerance religions of today world. It is written that no compulsion in religion. she believe what she wants. she is obviously wrong but if Allah has set a seal on her heart there is nothing I can do to change that sorry but true. darkelf is unusual name is not?
<dmg> darkelf is a pseudonym.
<dmg> We won't waste much more of your time, but finally how do you see the wahhabi interpretation of Islam fitting into American society ?
<kuffrkilla666> ill be completely honest we are told to kill americans where we find them at this stage in our struggle i dont think it is one of our aims to integrate with a decadent and corrupt regime
<kuffrkilla666> when the global khalifate is reality then we can meet americans in an equal footing under the protective umbrella of Islam until then we are at war
<dmg> thank you for your time, you have cleared up a great many points for us.
<kuffrkilla666> thanks for the opportunity to set the record straight
I continued this chat with Mr Massoud for some time but the conversation moved away from Islam and the west and onto more mundane matters. But before we moved on he suggested that Westerners with short attention spans hoping to understand more about Islam might find it easier to approach this difficult subject through the medium of rap music. This is one of the sites he recommended:
Soldiers of Allah
And this is another