This is an archive site only. It is no longer maintained. You can not post comments. You can not make an account. Your email will not be read. Please read this page if you have questions.
fat-time plopped into the back seat of the cab, finally escaping the pouring rain. he sat his lubricating midget rapid fire pellet gun next to him.
"... and where would you like to be going, friend, " asked the cab driver, in a rich, indian accent.
"2001, jupiter lane, " replied fat-time, "say, that's a strange accent you got... where you from?"
"i am from the land of plenty, friend. i am from india."
fat-time's furrowed brow reminded the cabbie of a 360 pound jerry mathers.
"india is a wonderful land, friend. though we have fallen on hardships of late. we are being persecuted by the nation of pakistan. they are evil mongrels, raping our young female actresses and tossing our midgets."
fat-time gasped in shock as he stroked his lubricating midget rapid fire pellet gun's head, "gee!"
"they are a terrible blighted people, pillaging my beloved homeland, where the midgets are all lubricating and all the young female actresses are open sourced."
fat-time lowered his head in pity, a tear trickled down his fleshy cheek.
"well, we have arrived at your destination, sir, that will be five american dollars."
fat-time fished a twenty dollar bill from his yellowed underwear, "keep the change my friend."
"oh, thank you sir! you are a kind and generous soul indeed!"
* * * * 2001 jupiter lane and beyond the infinite * * * *
fat-time wobbled into the convenience store, with his lubricating midget rapid fire pellet gun tucked under his arm.
the clerk smiled with a mouthful of white teeth, "greetings friend, and what may i please you with today?!"
fat-time smiled with familiarity, "hey, are you from india too?!"
"oh, no sir, i am from the great land of plenty, pakistan. where the midgets are all lubricating and all the young female actresses are open sourced!"
fat-time grew wild with rage. his face growing the deep red of a fat sausage, "you sick bastard!"
fat-time grabbed the lubricating midget rapid fire pellet gun by the feet and aimed it's anus at the clerk. with a burst of powerful squeezes, the lubricating midget rapid fire pellet gun spewed forth a hail of death-pellets.
the clerk crumpled into a quivering heap of unviable flesh on the floor.
fat-time rewarded himself handsomely with a box of donuts and several
smoked sausages. he recharged his lubricating midget rapid fire pellet
gun with the ten oldest burritos he could fish out of the warmer before
meandering out into the rain, in search of his next superhero adventure.