||First, we observe that the party who "wants to be friends" is always, without exception, the one who did the dumping.
Next, we observe that two parties in all liklihood have quite a few friends in common.
The translation is now easy: "can we still be friends?" means "could you please not tell our mutual friends that I am a piece of shit?"
There is a continuation, in many cases: "...because, you see, I really want to fuck one of them, or maybe I already did, even though I just dumped you yesterday (or last week, or six years ago, or whatever)."
The only humane way to rid oneself of a potential spouse who has failed to live up to expectations or evinced an inadequate degree of sexual compatibility is to dump and then disappear. Anything else is selfish and craven. If you lose friends, then either they were never your friends to begin with, or you deserve it. Suck it up.
If you really do think there was anything redeeming in the dumped, beyond spousal potential, then wait at least six months (or several years, in the case of a longer entaglement) before writing a letter (no phone call-- far too pushy) to the dumped, containing a brief summary of your present situation, an apology, and an outline of the imagined basis for camaraderie that has prompted you to write. Whatever you do, do not propose "getting together for coffee," or anything else that might be construed as a "date." If there is indeed some basis for friendship, the dumped will contact you.
Could we please get back to discussions of software ethics, thrash bands, and foreign policy?
© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.